Adventures of an Idealistically Realistic Dreamer

As the title indicates, right now is “Taem Blong Spel,” loosely translated to “OMG It’s Way Too Hot To Do Anything So Let’s Party and Hang Out Until Late February or Maybe Even March.”

The kids are out of school, it rains a lot, and if you’re like me… you can only scratch so many coconuts until you lose your mind. This is the plight of the Peace Corps Volunteer, and one of the reasons why we are usually so well-read. Seriously. Ask us about any book, and chances are, we’ve read it (unless it has come out in the last two years and then you can forget about it). Kindles, however, hate Vanuatu. Maybe it’s the humidity, or maybe just our lifestyle is too rough on them, but they DON’T LAST. I’ve now gone through two. So, pray tell, what does a PCV do when their kindle breaks in the middle of “Taem Blong Spel?”

I polled some other volunteers. These are real things that we have all actually done at some point or another. Don’t judge.

1. Write pointless lists for your blog!

2. Go with some kids to the beach.

3. Paint your fingernails, and subsequently the nails of every kid, boy or girl, and mama in sight.

4. Get a pet. Cat, dog, hermit crab, giant bat… Doesn’t make a difference.

5. Cook. This should kill at least a couple hours since it takes about 45 minutes just to light a fire and boil water.

6. Lay in your hammock and pay homage to “Taem Blong Spel.”

7. Reach whatever you can get your hands on… GRE workbook, computer instruction booklet, paperback from another volunteer, HIV/AIDs pamphlets… again, it doesn’t matter.

8. Scratch coconuts… again.

9. Cut firewood. The bigger your knife, the more fun this is.

10. Make soap. Or just teach other people to do it.

11. Use bamboo to stick fruit off the trees in your yard (for me, nuts, passionfruit, breadfruit {blech} and papaya are in season)

12. Walk aimlessly around the village.

13. Exercise! Just be prepared to sweat… A LOT.

14. Weed the garden. If you’re so inclined.

15. Clean the house. 10 points for each bug you take out.

16. Check the mail. {This kills a whole day for me}

17. Hang out at the medical clinic and hope something interesting passes by.

18. Listen to podcasts til your iPod goes flat.

19. Teach kids to play MASH or make a Cootie Catcher.

20. Find a way to charge your laptop and watch an episode of 5 of the funniest sitcom you can think of.

21. Play endless hours of 7Lock.

22. Play scrabble against yourself.

23. Take a nap… Benadryl induced if you must.

24. Find an equally bored volunteer to text or chat with.

25. Make a paper countdown chain until your next vacation.

26. Do actual planning for actual work.

27. Shave your legs. It confuses the kids.

28. Chase rats. Preferably with a fishing spear.

29. Dig for crabs.

30. Study for the GRE that you have already successfully taken.

31. Play with random babies.

32. Buy phone credit and text BFF in the states, hoping they’re doing something interesting enough to live vicariously through.

33. Read guidebooks about places you don’t actually have any upcoming trips to.

34. Learn to say random things in local language.

35. Learn to curse in language.

36. Dream about/makes lists of all the thing you’re going to eat the next time you go to town.

37. Write letters you never actually get around to mailing because you forget to buy stamps when in town.

38. Read books with kids.

39. Through things at roosters.

40. Do silly things just to confuse the h#&& out of the local people who watch your house {this is a personal favorite and it never gets old}

41. Practice your lassoing skills on whatever happens to walk by your house… goats, chickens, pigs, dogs, children.

42. Go digging for worms or grubs. They make a good snack.

43. Build furniture. Some of us are pretty good woodworkers now.

44. Memorize the tide chart.

45. Read the dictionary forward to backward.

46. Take another nap, benadryl induced if necessary.

47. Spontaneously go to town {if you live in a place where this is possible}.

48. Daydream about your plans for the day when you live in the big city again.

49. Invent something useful.

50. Learn a new hobby, like playing the guitar or sewing or friendship bracelet making or sleeping in 14 hour stretches.

Every time you finish something on the list, you must step back, sigh and say “Yep, that just happened.” Then move on to the next one.